I Think, Therefore I'm Different

Constantly adjusting your thinking is key when working with a diverse group of people.

It took me years to figure out that everybody at work really IS different. Everybody has different expectations and desires. They each have different cultures, backgrounds and values. We learn all this stuff in classes and seminars. But, guess what? The biggest mind-blower of all? Not everyone THINKS like me.

This seems like a big "duh!" when I write it, but it's something that I'm still learning and exploring and it's taken awhile to adjust my expectations of other people to understand that what I perceive about them, or think they need or mean or understand, and the thought processes which have led them to where they are, are different than mine.

On the surface, this seems like a gimme, and people have made a lot of money expounding similar shit in "group sessions", "conflict resolution", "assertiveness training", or other modern euphanisms for common sense. But actually making it work is difficult, and it's a gigantic leap from using different problem-solving processes I learn in a class or from a book to the realization that my actual thoughts are different. Not just the thought processes, but my thinking and thoughts themselves are unique. And I see over and over again where people don't understand why they don't agree with someone else or even realize where their differences lie. And, in the end, it doesn't matter because 9 times out of 10 I'm just going to have to come to the realization that I am the one who needs to adjust or we'll just keep butting heads. And adjusting is so much easier when I've had the epiphany and the realization that the other person is never seeing exactly the same problem, let alone the same process or solution, that I see. They haven't thought the same thoughts to reach the conclusion I have reached.

It's impossible to explain........and it's a miracle when I see and feel it for myself. It's like a subtle "click" in my brain and I suddenly understand someone so much better than I did one minute ago. It's cool to realize this - the learned gift of being able to empathize or understand someone else's THINKING just a little bit, and just the realization that they THINK DIFFERENTLY FROM ME.

Here's what I know:

My thoughts are 100% unique to me. And 100% of the time I am not thinking exactly what you are thinking, even if we're both working on the same problem.

And if this makes no sense to you at all then that just illustrates my point - because it makes sense to me!